Dear Sammy,
I’m at my wit’s end and I’m hoping you can help. I am a mother with five adolescent cats and not of one of them will listen to a thing I say. I tell them not to fight, and they just fight all the more. I tell them not to steal each other’s food, but not a one of them will keep to their own bowl at mealtime. Sometimes, my third born (or was he the fourth born?) will even try to nudge me away from my dish. No respect! My people are no help. They just laugh at the kid’s antics. Of course I get no help from the fathers. All those toms disappeared as soon as they found out they were going to be dads.
So here I am, a single mother trying to raise five children to be upstanding cats. It’s not like I’m overly strict. As long as they don’t sleep in my spot on the couch, steal my food, or permanently maim each other, I’m happy. However, I would like to be able to tell them what to do occasionally. And they were such good kittens, but as soon as they didn’t have to depend on me for meals, they became unruly hooligans.
What’s a mother to do?
Stymied in Susanville
Dear Stymied,
Not having any children myself, having had an unfortunate accident when I was quite young, But I digress. Ungrateful children is a universal problem. You would be surprised to learn that even people have this problem. In many cases, we house cats don’t have to deal with the problem as children generally move away as soon as they’re old enough. Then we don’t have to be bothered by their bad behavior. This, I know, doesn’t help you. You are one of the rare cases where the kids just won’t leave home.
One solution is to do what cats have done since time began and their children grow out of kitten hood and into pain-in-the-neck-hood. Have another litter. I have heard of some felines who have children every three months. This way, they always have agreeable kittens to order around. This isn’t for everyone as it does get quite tiresome to always be feeding your little ones. It does cramp a kitty’s style. Even worse, as soon as your kittens have kittens, they will expect you to kitten-sit.
A more workable fix is to find a substitute kitten that won’t constantly disobey or annoy you. I myself have a feathered companion (yes, male cats do have parental longings sometimes). Fuzzy is covered with blue feathers and has a long, stiff tail. He’s the perfect kitten. He never complains, is a great listener, follows me when I want him to, stays where I put him, and never ever steals my food. Best of all, he’ll never grow up and ignore me. My advice is to get yourself a “Fuzzy” of your own, and then you won’t be annoyed by what your offspring are up to. You can even pretend those rascals racing through the house are not even related to you.
Wishing you a “Fuzzy” future,
Sammy
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
A Scratching Post by Any Other Name, Is Still as Scratching Post
Dear Sammy,
My person is giving me mixed messages, and it is very confusing. You know how important it is for us to keep our claws nice and sharp. Even though I’m an indoor cat, you never know when a dangerous animal will break in and I have to protect my home. Besides, I get much better traction on the rug with sharp claws, in the rare event I have to make a quick retreat. The problem is, the house is just filled with great claw sharpeners, some of my favorites being the leather sofa and that desk with the cute curved legs. There are some rope thingys that work pretty good, too. The problem is, sometimes my person calls me “good kitty,” and sometimes she calls me “stop that!” I can’t tell if she wants me to keep my claws in shape or not. Could it just be mood swings? Do you have any advice on how I can keep my person happy and stay well groomed?
Confused in Citrus Heights
Dear Confused,
While frustrating, you’ll be happy to hear this is not an uncommon problem. For some unknown reason, people tend to become overly attached to pieces of furniture. No one knows why they are protective of some pieces, but don’t even seem to care about others. For us, it becomes a case of “in sight” and “out of sight” scratching. It’s perfectly ok to use anything available for pedicures, but remember, timing is everything. For those “stop that!” pieces of furniture, save your usage for when your person is out of the room, or even better, out of the house. It’s not so much that she doesn’t want you to use them, it’s just that she doesn’t want to see you doing it.
There is one hard and fast rule with people when it comes to claw shar4pening. Never use anyone’s leg, not matter how tempting the cashmere pants.
Here’s to an end to the mixed messages.
Sammy
My person is giving me mixed messages, and it is very confusing. You know how important it is for us to keep our claws nice and sharp. Even though I’m an indoor cat, you never know when a dangerous animal will break in and I have to protect my home. Besides, I get much better traction on the rug with sharp claws, in the rare event I have to make a quick retreat. The problem is, the house is just filled with great claw sharpeners, some of my favorites being the leather sofa and that desk with the cute curved legs. There are some rope thingys that work pretty good, too. The problem is, sometimes my person calls me “good kitty,” and sometimes she calls me “stop that!” I can’t tell if she wants me to keep my claws in shape or not. Could it just be mood swings? Do you have any advice on how I can keep my person happy and stay well groomed?
Confused in Citrus Heights
Dear Confused,
While frustrating, you’ll be happy to hear this is not an uncommon problem. For some unknown reason, people tend to become overly attached to pieces of furniture. No one knows why they are protective of some pieces, but don’t even seem to care about others. For us, it becomes a case of “in sight” and “out of sight” scratching. It’s perfectly ok to use anything available for pedicures, but remember, timing is everything. For those “stop that!” pieces of furniture, save your usage for when your person is out of the room, or even better, out of the house. It’s not so much that she doesn’t want you to use them, it’s just that she doesn’t want to see you doing it.
There is one hard and fast rule with people when it comes to claw shar4pening. Never use anyone’s leg, not matter how tempting the cashmere pants.
Here’s to an end to the mixed messages.
Sammy
Monday, July 5, 2010
A Case of Unrequited Love
Dear Sammy,
Can you offer some advice for a gorgeous feline who is constantly rejected by her one true love? It’s true! Despite the fact that I have hypnotic emerald green eyes, and luxurious, long, silky black and white fur, I keep facing rejection. I live mostly indoors, can’t risk getting burrs in my fur, you know, while the object of my affection, let’s call him Jerome, lives mainly outdoors. I know he likes me because when our eyes meet through the window, there’s a spark. But, when I go outside, the story changes. The minute I leave the house, it’s like I’m nothing special. He’ll acknowledge my presence, and maybe even engage in a little sniffing, but the second I look for something more, he’ll just walk away. It’s the same when he occasionally comes inside the house. Both he and my person like watching “Numbers” on Friday nights, so he’ll come in to watch TV. But, can I even get him to say two words to me when he’s inside. No! Then, when there’s glass between us again, he’s all flirty.
It’s not like he’s all that hot. He’s a skinny grey thing. Ok, he does have mesmerizing eyes. But still, he should consider himself lucky to have me for a girlfriend. If I weren’t so beautiful, I might begin to feel inferior, maybe. How can I ensnare him in my claws and make him my slave, the way it should be?
Rejected in Roseville
Dear Rejected,
What we have here is a classic case of “Furry Nerves.” It affects outdoor male cats mainly, but has been known in rare cases with indoor cats. It’s when an outdoor cat feels inferior to an indoor cat. When he is safely separated from the indoor cat, he is full of confidence and acts like a Fat Cat. He’ll strut his stuff and act tough. While that protective glass is between him and his amour, he’s in his element. However, take away that safety shield, and he doesn’t know what to do. So he acts like he doesn’t care. I myself, have never suffered from these, or any other kind of nerves, but I have done extensive study of it.
Don’t take it personally, with a female as enchanting as you, and I can tell by the liver scented stationery you used, any tom would be intimidated. For a cat with “Furry Nerves” your charms are just too much. He doesn’t talk to you because he is unable to. You rob him of the power to screech. His only defense if to pretend he doesn’t choose to talk to you.
While there are cases where indoor and outdoor cats have successfully bridged the gap and had a lovely relationship, do you really want that? For one thing, even if you do overcome the intimidation factor, he’s still an outdoor cat. He’ll never be as refined as you are. Can a gal who dines on the finest kitty feast be happy with fellow who thinks stinky squirrel is the ultimate in cuisine? My advice to you is enjoy the forbidden pleasure of an impossible romance. Have your fun flirting through the window, and enjoy the power of making a male speechless.
Should you ever be in my neighborhood, I’ll show you how a real cat treats his lady.
Vive L‘amour,
Sammy
Can you offer some advice for a gorgeous feline who is constantly rejected by her one true love? It’s true! Despite the fact that I have hypnotic emerald green eyes, and luxurious, long, silky black and white fur, I keep facing rejection. I live mostly indoors, can’t risk getting burrs in my fur, you know, while the object of my affection, let’s call him Jerome, lives mainly outdoors. I know he likes me because when our eyes meet through the window, there’s a spark. But, when I go outside, the story changes. The minute I leave the house, it’s like I’m nothing special. He’ll acknowledge my presence, and maybe even engage in a little sniffing, but the second I look for something more, he’ll just walk away. It’s the same when he occasionally comes inside the house. Both he and my person like watching “Numbers” on Friday nights, so he’ll come in to watch TV. But, can I even get him to say two words to me when he’s inside. No! Then, when there’s glass between us again, he’s all flirty.
It’s not like he’s all that hot. He’s a skinny grey thing. Ok, he does have mesmerizing eyes. But still, he should consider himself lucky to have me for a girlfriend. If I weren’t so beautiful, I might begin to feel inferior, maybe. How can I ensnare him in my claws and make him my slave, the way it should be?
Rejected in Roseville
Dear Rejected,
What we have here is a classic case of “Furry Nerves.” It affects outdoor male cats mainly, but has been known in rare cases with indoor cats. It’s when an outdoor cat feels inferior to an indoor cat. When he is safely separated from the indoor cat, he is full of confidence and acts like a Fat Cat. He’ll strut his stuff and act tough. While that protective glass is between him and his amour, he’s in his element. However, take away that safety shield, and he doesn’t know what to do. So he acts like he doesn’t care. I myself, have never suffered from these, or any other kind of nerves, but I have done extensive study of it.
Don’t take it personally, with a female as enchanting as you, and I can tell by the liver scented stationery you used, any tom would be intimidated. For a cat with “Furry Nerves” your charms are just too much. He doesn’t talk to you because he is unable to. You rob him of the power to screech. His only defense if to pretend he doesn’t choose to talk to you.
While there are cases where indoor and outdoor cats have successfully bridged the gap and had a lovely relationship, do you really want that? For one thing, even if you do overcome the intimidation factor, he’s still an outdoor cat. He’ll never be as refined as you are. Can a gal who dines on the finest kitty feast be happy with fellow who thinks stinky squirrel is the ultimate in cuisine? My advice to you is enjoy the forbidden pleasure of an impossible romance. Have your fun flirting through the window, and enjoy the power of making a male speechless.
Should you ever be in my neighborhood, I’ll show you how a real cat treats his lady.
Vive L‘amour,
Sammy
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Home Security
Dear Sammy,
I writing on behalf of cats like me everywhere who don’t get the respect we deserve. It’s not so bad that people don’t understand us, and you can’t really expect dogs to understand anything, but even other cats fail to recognize the important work we do. I’m talking about security cats. We are highly trained in the art of protecting our home and everyone in it from dangerous flying objects. What most people don’t realize is moths, gnats and feathers (yes feathers) can pose serious threats to the comfort, health and security of the home. Think about it, these things usually attack at night when no one is on guard. If it weren’t for us security cats, a gnat might get in an ear, a feather might disturb sleep, or a moth might inadvertently be swallowed. While everyone else is in dreamland, we are protecting our home.
Do we ask for any reward or medals? No. All we want is a little recognition. What do we get? From our humans, we get, “Oh, what a cute kitty. Look at him playing with the bug.” Even worse, is the reaction from my fellow felines. I live with four other cats, only one of whom helps with security. My sister actually scolded me for “acting undignified.” No one seems to realize this is not a game. Why do they think we sleep all day. It’s so we can be alert during the dangerous dark.
How do we convince people and peers we are not fooling around?
Vigilant in Vallejo
Dear Vigilant,
First let me say, I appreciate what you do. Fortunately for my peace of mind, and much needed beauty sleep, I live with a security cat. I have to admit, I did not really appreciate him until an unfortunate incident where an annoying gnat decided to buzz around my head. What could have been a sleepless night, what a disaster!, was saved thanks to my brother who, with no thought to his own safety, batted the gnat away from my head and then ate it just to make sure I was safe. My whole point of view changed that night. When I woke up the next morning, and after breakfast and my morning nap, I wasted no time in thanking him.
We need more cats like you, but unfortunately most people (and pets) aren’t going to realize it until they have a close call like I did. On the bright side, people seem to appreciate cuteness in cats just as much as they do bravery. So, while their “Cute kitty,” may be misinformed, it is well-intentioned, and you are just as likely to get a kitty treat for making them smile as for making them safe. As for your brother and sister cats, they’ll always find something to goad you with. Tell the truth, you give them a hard time from time to time, don’t you?
You can feel good about the important job you are doing, and know that not everyone thinks you’re just playing. For my part, I will take every opportunity I get to educated people about you brave and worthy security cats.
Stay on guard!
Sammy
I writing on behalf of cats like me everywhere who don’t get the respect we deserve. It’s not so bad that people don’t understand us, and you can’t really expect dogs to understand anything, but even other cats fail to recognize the important work we do. I’m talking about security cats. We are highly trained in the art of protecting our home and everyone in it from dangerous flying objects. What most people don’t realize is moths, gnats and feathers (yes feathers) can pose serious threats to the comfort, health and security of the home. Think about it, these things usually attack at night when no one is on guard. If it weren’t for us security cats, a gnat might get in an ear, a feather might disturb sleep, or a moth might inadvertently be swallowed. While everyone else is in dreamland, we are protecting our home.
Do we ask for any reward or medals? No. All we want is a little recognition. What do we get? From our humans, we get, “Oh, what a cute kitty. Look at him playing with the bug.” Even worse, is the reaction from my fellow felines. I live with four other cats, only one of whom helps with security. My sister actually scolded me for “acting undignified.” No one seems to realize this is not a game. Why do they think we sleep all day. It’s so we can be alert during the dangerous dark.
How do we convince people and peers we are not fooling around?
Vigilant in Vallejo
Dear Vigilant,
First let me say, I appreciate what you do. Fortunately for my peace of mind, and much needed beauty sleep, I live with a security cat. I have to admit, I did not really appreciate him until an unfortunate incident where an annoying gnat decided to buzz around my head. What could have been a sleepless night, what a disaster!, was saved thanks to my brother who, with no thought to his own safety, batted the gnat away from my head and then ate it just to make sure I was safe. My whole point of view changed that night. When I woke up the next morning, and after breakfast and my morning nap, I wasted no time in thanking him.
We need more cats like you, but unfortunately most people (and pets) aren’t going to realize it until they have a close call like I did. On the bright side, people seem to appreciate cuteness in cats just as much as they do bravery. So, while their “Cute kitty,” may be misinformed, it is well-intentioned, and you are just as likely to get a kitty treat for making them smile as for making them safe. As for your brother and sister cats, they’ll always find something to goad you with. Tell the truth, you give them a hard time from time to time, don’t you?
You can feel good about the important job you are doing, and know that not everyone thinks you’re just playing. For my part, I will take every opportunity I get to educated people about you brave and worthy security cats.
Stay on guard!
Sammy
Monday, June 21, 2010
Whose Bed is it Anyway?
Dear Sammy,
The people I live with have a mixed marriage. She’s a cat person, he’s a dog person. I consider myself open minded, and I am willing to put up with his misguided beliefs. However, when they impact me, I have to protest.
During the day, everything is fine. He works on the computer all day and leaves me alone. He doesn’t mess with me and I don’t scratch his eyes out. It works. The nighttime is the problem.
When she gets home from work, she takes care of the important things first, and feeds me. We then settle in for some lap time before bed. At 10:00pm promptly, she and I head off to bed. Just when we enter dreamland, He arrives. He has some strange notion that cats don’t belong on the bed, or even in the bedroom! Can you believe it?! Despite my protests, he unceremoniously kicks me out of the room and shuts the door in my face. How humiliating! Now, if I were just worried about my comfort, which of course is important, I wouldn’t bother you with this. There are other places I can sleep. However, I perform a very important safety function. For one thing, I keep the bed warm, lowering the heating bill, so She can afford more toys for me. But, there’s also my security job. Who’s going to protect them from moths and other flying things during the night if I’m not on guard? Who’s going to make sure She wakes up in time to go to work and make money to keep me in food and litter?
My feeling is, if anyone should sleep in the hall, it’s Him. After all, I take up must less room.
What’s your advice.
Annoyed in Antioch
Dear Annoyed,
Alas, this is the cross we sensitive felines must pay at times. Some humans are born with a disorder called ACK! (Aversion to Cats and Kittens). It’s not their fault, it’s a real medical condition. Despite great advances in medicine, scientists and doctors alike are completely stymied by this disease. The good news for these unfortunate creatures is they can go on to lead almost normal lives, they just need acceptance and understanding.
Of course, knowing what the disease is doesn’t really help your situation. Apparently He has a severe case. Often just being around a person who doesn’t have ACK! will decrease the intensity of some of the symptoms. In your case, I don’t see that happening. While I agree with you that you are the wronged party, you may also have to be the bigger cat in this case.
There are a couple things you could try to get a night of uninterrupted rest, so necessary for us to maintain our looks and sweet personalities. Do you sleep in the middle of the bed. You might try moving to Her side or the foot of the bed. That way, He might not notice you. A cat bed on the floor (on Her side, of course) might also work. If he is just determined to evict you, there’s not much you can do. You’ll just have to find a comfortable place in another room, and enjoy your time with Her when you get it.
I know I said we have to be understanding of people with medical conditions, but I would completely understand if you felt the need to leave Him a little something in his slippers.
Sweet Dreams,
Sammy
The people I live with have a mixed marriage. She’s a cat person, he’s a dog person. I consider myself open minded, and I am willing to put up with his misguided beliefs. However, when they impact me, I have to protest.
During the day, everything is fine. He works on the computer all day and leaves me alone. He doesn’t mess with me and I don’t scratch his eyes out. It works. The nighttime is the problem.
When she gets home from work, she takes care of the important things first, and feeds me. We then settle in for some lap time before bed. At 10:00pm promptly, she and I head off to bed. Just when we enter dreamland, He arrives. He has some strange notion that cats don’t belong on the bed, or even in the bedroom! Can you believe it?! Despite my protests, he unceremoniously kicks me out of the room and shuts the door in my face. How humiliating! Now, if I were just worried about my comfort, which of course is important, I wouldn’t bother you with this. There are other places I can sleep. However, I perform a very important safety function. For one thing, I keep the bed warm, lowering the heating bill, so She can afford more toys for me. But, there’s also my security job. Who’s going to protect them from moths and other flying things during the night if I’m not on guard? Who’s going to make sure She wakes up in time to go to work and make money to keep me in food and litter?
My feeling is, if anyone should sleep in the hall, it’s Him. After all, I take up must less room.
What’s your advice.
Annoyed in Antioch
Dear Annoyed,
Alas, this is the cross we sensitive felines must pay at times. Some humans are born with a disorder called ACK! (Aversion to Cats and Kittens). It’s not their fault, it’s a real medical condition. Despite great advances in medicine, scientists and doctors alike are completely stymied by this disease. The good news for these unfortunate creatures is they can go on to lead almost normal lives, they just need acceptance and understanding.
Of course, knowing what the disease is doesn’t really help your situation. Apparently He has a severe case. Often just being around a person who doesn’t have ACK! will decrease the intensity of some of the symptoms. In your case, I don’t see that happening. While I agree with you that you are the wronged party, you may also have to be the bigger cat in this case.
There are a couple things you could try to get a night of uninterrupted rest, so necessary for us to maintain our looks and sweet personalities. Do you sleep in the middle of the bed. You might try moving to Her side or the foot of the bed. That way, He might not notice you. A cat bed on the floor (on Her side, of course) might also work. If he is just determined to evict you, there’s not much you can do. You’ll just have to find a comfortable place in another room, and enjoy your time with Her when you get it.
I know I said we have to be understanding of people with medical conditions, but I would completely understand if you felt the need to leave Him a little something in his slippers.
Sweet Dreams,
Sammy
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Table Trekker
Dear Sammy,
My person has been sending me some confusing signals. I can go anywhere in the house and he doesn’t say anything. However, the instant I get on the kitchen table, it’s “Hey, get down! Now!” What gives? Obviously there’s something up there I should know about, or why would he want me to keep off? I can’t figure out what it is, though. I’ve given it a thorough investigation, when he’s not home of course, but there’s really nothing interesting up there. I keep checking just to see if he puts something there, like a nice fresh mouse, when I’m not looking, but so far, nothing. The only thing even near interesting on the table is when he eats his meals, but he has weird tastes. Sometimes, he doesn’t even have meat.
I’m just wondering if you can give me any insight about why he thinks the table should be off limits. Oh, and he’s not too pleased when I investigate the kitchen counters either.
Wondering in Wildwood
Dear Wondering,
This is a question that long intrigued me too. I conducted extensive research, at great risk to myself and finally cleared up the mystery of the dining table. You will be surprised at the answer. For some odd reason, people don’t like us cats to walk where they eat or prepare their food. I know. I was shocked by that, but it’s true. After all, do we screech at them when they walk on the floor where we eat? No! For the life of me, I cannot fathom why they would be upset. After all, we are fastidiously clean. It’s not like we’ll give them mad cat disease. Still, sometimes we have to humor our quirky people. For the most part, except for vet visits and forgetting to clean the litter box, they mean well.
My advice to you is to put up with the occasional “Get down!” and try to limit your table excursions to those times when your person is out of the house. You never know when something good might turn up on the table top that would make a satisfying crash when you knock it off. I myself am partial to the clunk his eyeglasses make when hitting the tile. It’s even better when he doesn’t notice and crunches them under foot.
Sammy
My person has been sending me some confusing signals. I can go anywhere in the house and he doesn’t say anything. However, the instant I get on the kitchen table, it’s “Hey, get down! Now!” What gives? Obviously there’s something up there I should know about, or why would he want me to keep off? I can’t figure out what it is, though. I’ve given it a thorough investigation, when he’s not home of course, but there’s really nothing interesting up there. I keep checking just to see if he puts something there, like a nice fresh mouse, when I’m not looking, but so far, nothing. The only thing even near interesting on the table is when he eats his meals, but he has weird tastes. Sometimes, he doesn’t even have meat.
I’m just wondering if you can give me any insight about why he thinks the table should be off limits. Oh, and he’s not too pleased when I investigate the kitchen counters either.
Wondering in Wildwood
Dear Wondering,
This is a question that long intrigued me too. I conducted extensive research, at great risk to myself and finally cleared up the mystery of the dining table. You will be surprised at the answer. For some odd reason, people don’t like us cats to walk where they eat or prepare their food. I know. I was shocked by that, but it’s true. After all, do we screech at them when they walk on the floor where we eat? No! For the life of me, I cannot fathom why they would be upset. After all, we are fastidiously clean. It’s not like we’ll give them mad cat disease. Still, sometimes we have to humor our quirky people. For the most part, except for vet visits and forgetting to clean the litter box, they mean well.
My advice to you is to put up with the occasional “Get down!” and try to limit your table excursions to those times when your person is out of the house. You never know when something good might turn up on the table top that would make a satisfying crash when you knock it off. I myself am partial to the clunk his eyeglasses make when hitting the tile. It’s even better when he doesn’t notice and crunches them under foot.
Sammy
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Sometimes New is NOT Improved
Dear Sammy,
I debated about whether or not to send this letter because I really love my person and don’t want to complain about her, but I’m at my wits end. I’ve tried everything I know to communicate with her, but she’s just not fluent in feline. A short time ago, she brought home this “new and improved” cat litter. From what I gather from her broken cat talk, some vet or other “expert” said it was better for kitties tushies. I beg to differ. I hate it! It smells funny and feels funnier. Yech! I find myself waiting as long as I can so I can avoid using it. I’ve tried letting her know subtly and not so subtly how I feel, but it hasn’t worked. I’ve tried to explain it to her rationally, but when I get in her lap, she starts with the brushing and soon I’ve forgotten what I was going to say. I’ve tried kicking the disgusting litter on the floor, but she just sweeps it up. To make matters worse, my brother won’t back me up. He doesn’t see a problem with the new litter. Of course, being a boy, he’s not nearly as sensitive as us girl kitties. He’d go in the dirt and be happy. What am I going to do? My nerves are shot, and I’m getting tired of crossing my legs.
Stymied in San Jose
Dear Stymied,
I feel your pain. I know how disturbing it is when well-intentioned people think they are improving things, when in fact, they are making things worse. But don’t be too upset with your person. She can’t help it. For some reason, people can’t seem to resist those three words “New & Improved!”
Before I get to your options, I do have to take issue with one thing you said. Not all boy cats are insensitive primitives. I, too, am very sensitive to any change, be it litter, food or the detergent used on my velvet cushions. Though this male refinement is limited to the Siamese breed. I am supposing your brother is not of this elegant breed. In that case you are correct in saying boy kitties are not nearly as refined as females.
That out of the way, you do have some options other than holding it indefinitely. If your person is an avid reader of my column (and who is not?) you can bring it to her attention Meow loudly and point to the page should do it. If that doesn’t work, or if the paper is not delivered on that day, you can try some more drastic measures. First, only use the litter box when your person is in hearing distance and sneeze loudly when you do. Hopefully, she will get the idea you are allergic to the new stuff and change it back.
This last measure I advise using only as a last resort as it may result in an unwanted trip to the vet. But if nothing else works, avoid the litter box altogether. No. I don’t mean hold it in forever. Pick something less disgusting to use. For example, you might use the newspaper (unread of course) or try the bedspread. It’s soft and absorbent. As I said though, this is a last resort. If your person doesn’t make the connection, she may think it’s kidney problems. Or worse, if there’s a non-cat person in the house, you may end up an outdoor cat.
Good luck!
Sammy
I debated about whether or not to send this letter because I really love my person and don’t want to complain about her, but I’m at my wits end. I’ve tried everything I know to communicate with her, but she’s just not fluent in feline. A short time ago, she brought home this “new and improved” cat litter. From what I gather from her broken cat talk, some vet or other “expert” said it was better for kitties tushies. I beg to differ. I hate it! It smells funny and feels funnier. Yech! I find myself waiting as long as I can so I can avoid using it. I’ve tried letting her know subtly and not so subtly how I feel, but it hasn’t worked. I’ve tried to explain it to her rationally, but when I get in her lap, she starts with the brushing and soon I’ve forgotten what I was going to say. I’ve tried kicking the disgusting litter on the floor, but she just sweeps it up. To make matters worse, my brother won’t back me up. He doesn’t see a problem with the new litter. Of course, being a boy, he’s not nearly as sensitive as us girl kitties. He’d go in the dirt and be happy. What am I going to do? My nerves are shot, and I’m getting tired of crossing my legs.
Stymied in San Jose
Dear Stymied,
I feel your pain. I know how disturbing it is when well-intentioned people think they are improving things, when in fact, they are making things worse. But don’t be too upset with your person. She can’t help it. For some reason, people can’t seem to resist those three words “New & Improved!”
Before I get to your options, I do have to take issue with one thing you said. Not all boy cats are insensitive primitives. I, too, am very sensitive to any change, be it litter, food or the detergent used on my velvet cushions. Though this male refinement is limited to the Siamese breed. I am supposing your brother is not of this elegant breed. In that case you are correct in saying boy kitties are not nearly as refined as females.
That out of the way, you do have some options other than holding it indefinitely. If your person is an avid reader of my column (and who is not?) you can bring it to her attention Meow loudly and point to the page should do it. If that doesn’t work, or if the paper is not delivered on that day, you can try some more drastic measures. First, only use the litter box when your person is in hearing distance and sneeze loudly when you do. Hopefully, she will get the idea you are allergic to the new stuff and change it back.
This last measure I advise using only as a last resort as it may result in an unwanted trip to the vet. But if nothing else works, avoid the litter box altogether. No. I don’t mean hold it in forever. Pick something less disgusting to use. For example, you might use the newspaper (unread of course) or try the bedspread. It’s soft and absorbent. As I said though, this is a last resort. If your person doesn’t make the connection, she may think it’s kidney problems. Or worse, if there’s a non-cat person in the house, you may end up an outdoor cat.
Good luck!
Sammy
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