Table Trekker

Dear Sammy,

My person has been sending me some confusing signals. I can go anywhere in the house and he doesn’t say anything. However, the instant I get on the kitchen table, it’s “Hey, get down! Now!” What gives? Obviously there’s something up there I should know about, or why would he want me to keep off? I can’t figure out what it is, though. I’ve given it a thorough investigation, when he’s not home of course, but there’s really nothing interesting up there. I keep checking just to see if he puts something there, like a nice fresh mouse, when I’m not looking, but so far, nothing. The only thing even near interesting on the table is when he eats his meals, but he has weird tastes. Sometimes, he doesn’t even have meat.

I’m just wondering if you can give me any insight about why he thinks the table should be off limits. Oh, and he’s not too pleased when I investigate the kitchen counters either.

Wondering in Wildwood

Dear Wondering,

This is a question that long intrigued me too. I conducted extensive research, at great risk to myself and finally cleared up the mystery of the dining table. You will be surprised at the answer. For some odd reason, people don’t like us cats to walk where they eat or prepare their food. I know. I was shocked by that, but it’s true. After all, do we screech at them when they walk on the floor where we eat? No! For the life of me, I cannot fathom why they would be upset. After all, we are fastidiously clean. It’s not like we’ll give them mad cat disease. Still, sometimes we have to humor our quirky people. For the most part, except for vet visits and forgetting to clean the litter box, they mean well.

My advice to you is to put up with the occasional “Get down!” and try to limit your table excursions to those times when your person is out of the house. You never know when something good might turn up on the table top that would make a satisfying crash when you knock it off. I myself am partial to the clunk his eyeglasses make when hitting the tile. It’s even better when he doesn’t notice and crunches them under foot.

Sammy