Sunday, May 22, 2011

Food Dish Fury

Dear Sammy,

My sister is driving me nuts. At every mealtime, she sticks her face in my bowl and insists on taking the first couple bites. True, I do get served before her, but that’s because there are five of us and our person only has two hands. She can’t carry five bowls at the same time. But, there can’t be more than two meows between when she puts down my bowl and when sis gets hers. My brother patiently waits for his meal, but sis is apparently so hungry she can’t wait. She never steals from my other brothers, just me. then, if I try to snag anything from her bowl, she yowls so loud it brings our person running and I get scolded.

Just once, I’d like to eat my own meal in peace. Any suggestions? And yes, I’ve tried reasoning with her, but seriously, you know there’s no reasoning with any of us felines.

Fuming in Fair Oaks

Dear Famished,

Rather than fuming, you should be flattered. I’m guessing this is your older sister and that she’s never had kittens of her own. What she’s doing is quite common for a kittenless cat with younger siblings. She’s expressing her protective mothering instincts on you. She’s not stealing your food. She’s making sure it’s safe to eat. In the wild, which I hope you never experience, mother cats will taste the food before letting their kittens eat. This is to make sure the food is not rotten or, shudder, poisoned. Obviously, you are her favorite brother if she doesn’t do this for any of your other siblings. So, don’t give her a hard time about it, and if you’re really hungry, just grab a few bites from somebody else’s dish. Here’s a tip I don’t tell everyone. Hang out by the dinner table when your people are nearing the end of their meal. Even the strictest people can’t help passing a scrap or two to a hungry kitty.

Sammy

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Clean or Obsessive?

Dear Sammy,

The woman I live with is obsessively clean. Just when I get my beds and blankets smelling just right, and with just the right amount of hair to make them comfortable, she takes them away and throws them in a water machine. When she’s done with them, all my hard work has gone down the drain. Literally. It’s not just the annoyance of being without these essential items for sometimes hours, but when I finally do get them back, it takes days to get them back to where I like them. Then, the cycle starts all over again. And that’s not all. She chases me around with this horrible noise machine that picks up all the fur I’ve left to mark my territory. If I’m not quick, one day she’ll catch me an remove all my fur.

Normally, we get on famously, but this obsession is threatening our relationship. What’s up with her? Is it some sick game she’s playing just to mess with my mind?

Consternated in Carmichael


Dear Consternated,

Calm yourself. Your person is neither mad nor obsessed. After many years of observing them most catsperts agree, people are creatures of habit. They can’t help themselves. Once they do something once, they have to keep doing it. For some reason, in the distant history of personkind, one person thought it would be a good idea to wash everything. Now, they all do it. While it makes our life more difficult, have to constantly remark everything, it does give us something to do between naps.

In the meantime, if your bed is in the wash at naptime, just find somewhere else to nap. Any cushioned place will do, the dining room chair, the people bed, the sofa. I had a letter about a cat who enjoyed stinky socks. Not my cup of tea, but to each his own.