Dear Sammy,
I debated about whether or not to send this letter because I really love my person and don’t want to complain about her, but I’m at my wits end. I’ve tried everything I know to communicate with her, but she’s just not fluent in feline. A short time ago, she brought home this “new and improved” cat litter. From what I gather from her broken cat talk, some vet or other “expert” said it was better for kitties tushies. I beg to differ. I hate it! It smells funny and feels funnier. Yech! I find myself waiting as long as I can so I can avoid using it. I’ve tried letting her know subtly and not so subtly how I feel, but it hasn’t worked. I’ve tried to explain it to her rationally, but when I get in her lap, she starts with the brushing and soon I’ve forgotten what I was going to say. I’ve tried kicking the disgusting litter on the floor, but she just sweeps it up. To make matters worse, my brother won’t back me up. He doesn’t see a problem with the new litter. Of course, being a boy, he’s not nearly as sensitive as us girl kitties. He’d go in the dirt and be happy. What am I going to do? My nerves are shot, and I’m getting tired of crossing my legs.
Stymied in San Jose
Dear Stymied,
I feel your pain. I know how disturbing it is when well-intentioned people think they are improving things, when in fact, they are making things worse. But don’t be too upset with your person. She can’t help it. For some reason, people can’t seem to resist those three words “New & Improved!”
Before I get to your options, I do have to take issue with one thing you said. Not all boy cats are insensitive primitives. I, too, am very sensitive to any change, be it litter, food or the detergent used on my velvet cushions. Though this male refinement is limited to the Siamese breed. I am supposing your brother is not of this elegant breed. In that case you are correct in saying boy kitties are not nearly as refined as females.
That out of the way, you do have some options other than holding it indefinitely. If your person is an avid reader of my column (and who is not?) you can bring it to her attention Meow loudly and point to the page should do it. If that doesn’t work, or if the paper is not delivered on that day, you can try some more drastic measures. First, only use the litter box when your person is in hearing distance and sneeze loudly when you do. Hopefully, she will get the idea you are allergic to the new stuff and change it back.
This last measure I advise using only as a last resort as it may result in an unwanted trip to the vet. But if nothing else works, avoid the litter box altogether. No. I don’t mean hold it in forever. Pick something less disgusting to use. For example, you might use the newspaper (unread of course) or try the bedspread. It’s soft and absorbent. As I said though, this is a last resort. If your person doesn’t make the connection, she may think it’s kidney problems. Or worse, if there’s a non-cat person in the house, you may end up an outdoor cat.
Good luck!
Sammy
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