Home Security

Dear Sammy,

I writing on behalf of cats like me everywhere who don’t get the respect we deserve. It’s not so bad that people don’t understand us, and you can’t really expect dogs to understand anything, but even other cats fail to recognize the important work we do. I’m talking about security cats. We are highly trained in the art of protecting our home and everyone in it from dangerous flying objects. What most people don’t realize is moths, gnats and feathers (yes feathers) can pose serious threats to the comfort, health and security of the home. Think about it, these things usually attack at night when no one is on guard. If it weren’t for us security cats, a gnat might get in an ear, a feather might disturb sleep, or a moth might inadvertently be swallowed. While everyone else is in dreamland, we are protecting our home.

Do we ask for any reward or medals? No. All we want is a little recognition. What do we get? From our humans, we get, “Oh, what a cute kitty. Look at him playing with the bug.” Even worse, is the reaction from my fellow felines. I live with four other cats, only one of whom helps with security. My sister actually scolded me for “acting undignified.” No one seems to realize this is not a game. Why do they think we sleep all day. It’s so we can be alert during the dangerous dark.

How do we convince people and peers we are not fooling around?

Vigilant in Vallejo

Dear Vigilant,

First let me say, I appreciate what you do. Fortunately for my peace of mind, and much needed beauty sleep, I live with a security cat. I have to admit, I did not really appreciate him until an unfortunate incident where an annoying gnat decided to buzz around my head. What could have been a sleepless night, what a disaster!, was saved thanks to my brother who, with no thought to his own safety, batted the gnat away from my head and then ate it just to make sure I was safe. My whole point of view changed that night. When I woke up the next morning, and after breakfast and my morning nap, I wasted no time in thanking him.

We need more cats like you, but unfortunately most people (and pets) aren’t going to realize it until they have a close call like I did. On the bright side, people seem to appreciate cuteness in cats just as much as they do bravery. So, while their “Cute kitty,” may be misinformed, it is well-intentioned, and you are just as likely to get a kitty treat for making them smile as for making them safe. As for your brother and sister cats, they’ll always find something to goad you with. Tell the truth, you give them a hard time from time to time, don’t you?

You can feel good about the important job you are doing, and know that not everyone thinks you’re just playing. For my part, I will take every opportunity I get to educated people about you brave and worthy security cats.

Stay on guard!

Sammy