Whose Bed is it Anyway?

Dear Sammy,

The people I live with have a mixed marriage. She’s a cat person, he’s a dog person. I consider myself open minded, and I am willing to put up with his misguided beliefs. However, when they impact me, I have to protest.

During the day, everything is fine. He works on the computer all day and leaves me alone. He doesn’t mess with me and I don’t scratch his eyes out. It works. The nighttime is the problem.

When she gets home from work, she takes care of the important things first, and feeds me. We then settle in for some lap time before bed. At 10:00pm promptly, she and I head off to bed. Just when we enter dreamland, He arrives. He has some strange notion that cats don’t belong on the bed, or even in the bedroom! Can you believe it?! Despite my protests, he unceremoniously kicks me out of the room and shuts the door in my face. How humiliating! Now, if I were just worried about my comfort, which of course is important, I wouldn’t bother you with this. There are other places I can sleep. However, I perform a very important safety function. For one thing, I keep the bed warm, lowering the heating bill, so She can afford more toys for me. But, there’s also my security job. Who’s going to protect them from moths and other flying things during the night if I’m not on guard? Who’s going to make sure She wakes up in time to go to work and make money to keep me in food and litter?

My feeling is, if anyone should sleep in the hall, it’s Him. After all, I take up must less room.

What’s your advice.

Annoyed in Antioch

Dear Annoyed,

Alas, this is the cross we sensitive felines must pay at times. Some humans are born with a disorder called ACK! (Aversion to Cats and Kittens). It’s not their fault, it’s a real medical condition. Despite great advances in medicine, scientists and doctors alike are completely stymied by this disease. The good news for these unfortunate creatures is they can go on to lead almost normal lives, they just need acceptance and understanding.

Of course, knowing what the disease is doesn’t really help your situation. Apparently He has a severe case. Often just being around a person who doesn’t have ACK! will decrease the intensity of some of the symptoms. In your case, I don’t see that happening. While I agree with you that you are the wronged party, you may also have to be the bigger cat in this case.

There are a couple things you could try to get a night of uninterrupted rest, so necessary for us to maintain our looks and sweet personalities. Do you sleep in the middle of the bed. You might try moving to Her side or the foot of the bed. That way, He might not notice you. A cat bed on the floor (on Her side, of course) might also work. If he is just determined to evict you, there’s not much you can do. You’ll just have to find a comfortable place in another room, and enjoy your time with Her when you get it.

I know I said we have to be understanding of people with medical conditions, but I would completely understand if you felt the need to leave Him a little something in his slippers.

Sweet Dreams,

Sammy