Dear Sammy,
I have a delicate problem. I’m just too cuddly. Every time my person sits down, he expects me to keep his lap warm for him. Out of a sense of duty, I’ll curl up on his lap and oblige. Believe me, I get no pleasure out of the warm lap and the petting, and the chin rubbing, but I take it. I think this is important bonding time, and really lets him know how lucky he is to have me. I’m happy to keep him happy, the problem is, he can sit there all night long. I don’t want to disturb him when he’s so comfortable, and I know jumping down will wake him up. I’ve even been known to delay a trip to the litter box because he looks so cute when he’s relaxing.
I’ve tried spending time on the couch, or in front of the fire, or in one of the five cat beds, but he looks so lonely when he sitting in the chair all alone. He tries to pretend he doesn’t care, he’ll pretend to read the newspaper or work on his computer, but I know he needs me. I know I’m just enabling him in his addiction to me, but I can’t bear to see him suffer. I know it’s mostly my fault since I just too adorable. I don’t want to him to get the notion that he can live without me. He can’t. But, how do I keep from spending every night, all night on his lap?
Cuddled in Carmichael
Dear Cuddled,
Your problem is not unique. This is a common ailment among humans. Well known among cat doctors, lapophilia is the overwhelming obsession to have a cat on the lap. While it curable, the cure is harsh and sometimes leads to side effects that are much worse than the disease itself, such as depression, lethargy, and in some extreme cases, becoming a dog person!
If you are adamant about curing your person, the cure involves ignoring him totally for at least three weeks. That means, no rubbing against his legs, no purring when he’s near, and absolutely no lap naps. However, many cats and people have learned to live with the disease. People have been known to live happy, productive lives. Spending time on a lap is not all bad. I quite enjoy it. You can be comfortable and know you are doing your part to keep your human’s disease under control. I would advise, though, not putting off those litter box trips. I’m sure your person would rather be disturbed a little than get a little present on his lap.
Sammy
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Down on Dogs
Dear Sammy,
I read your column faithfully, and I think you’re brilliant. I’ve learned so much about other cats, and it really has helped. I do have one complaint. You don’t seem to think much of dogs. I live with two dogs, and they are great. They are intelligent (you should see the tricks they can do), and loyal and funny. While it’s great to be a cat, the house would seem empty without the dogs.
I think if you look a little closer, you’ll see that dogs are good to have around. We should all be able to get along. I’m just asking that you not put them down in your column.
By the way, the dogs in our family read your column, too. Please send them a little love.
Tolerant in Truckee
Dear Tolerant,
Or should I say, Rover. I wasn’t born yesterday. I can tell when a dog it writing to me. A cat would never view being able to do tricks as a admirable quality. You may notice that we get treats without having to roll over. Your letter just proves my point that cats rule, dogs drool.
That being said, I will admit, dogs are not always terrible to have around. I have found them to be quite warm when I there are no laps available. They are amusing to watch when they jump through hoops for a kibble. They provide a convenient taxi when I don’t feel like walking all the way across the room. So yes, dogs do have their uses, and I would miss them if they weren’t around.
I hope you will continue to read my column, and that it helps us all get along.
Sammy
I read your column faithfully, and I think you’re brilliant. I’ve learned so much about other cats, and it really has helped. I do have one complaint. You don’t seem to think much of dogs. I live with two dogs, and they are great. They are intelligent (you should see the tricks they can do), and loyal and funny. While it’s great to be a cat, the house would seem empty without the dogs.
I think if you look a little closer, you’ll see that dogs are good to have around. We should all be able to get along. I’m just asking that you not put them down in your column.
By the way, the dogs in our family read your column, too. Please send them a little love.
Tolerant in Truckee
Dear Tolerant,
Or should I say, Rover. I wasn’t born yesterday. I can tell when a dog it writing to me. A cat would never view being able to do tricks as a admirable quality. You may notice that we get treats without having to roll over. Your letter just proves my point that cats rule, dogs drool.
That being said, I will admit, dogs are not always terrible to have around. I have found them to be quite warm when I there are no laps available. They are amusing to watch when they jump through hoops for a kibble. They provide a convenient taxi when I don’t feel like walking all the way across the room. So yes, dogs do have their uses, and I would miss them if they weren’t around.
I hope you will continue to read my column, and that it helps us all get along.
Sammy
Sunday, January 16, 2011
More's a Crowd
Dear Sammy,
I have a problem that I think affects almost all cats in a multi-cat household. Too many cats, too little lap. I live with my person and my two brothers. A great evening for us bachelors is dinner and then settling down to watch the tube. The problem is, we all want to sit in the same chair. When we were kittens, it wasn’t much of an issue. Plenty of room for all. But now that we’re adults, the chair has gotten much smaller. Even that, we could live with, one cat on the lap, and one by each leg. Now, though, my person has gotten himself a laptop. There goes the lap. He seems to think it’s more important to play with those keys than to pet me. I’ve tried it. I don’t know what he sees in it. Granted, the thing is warm, but hey, so’s a blanket.
Now, it’s like musical lap. When our guy sits down, it’s a race to see who gets a seat and who gets left in the cold. Our once happy family has turned into a turf war. I hope you can help before someone, or something, gets booted out the door.
Edged Out in Elk Grove
Dear Edged Out,
Never fear, you do have options. I myself, prefer to hang out on the back of the chair. I get the best view of the TV and no one crowds me. The best thing, is I’m not disturbed when my person gets up. Give it a try, I think you’ll like it.
You may also consider alternating your TV viewing site. Even bachelors usually have more than one chair. Try a different chair, or the sofa, on some nights. It will make your person appreciated it more when you do deign to sit with him. Also, being having a little space does have its advantages, especially when you get an itch.
Finally, remember, much as we hate it, things do change. Sometimes, it’s even for the better. Should your bachelor become unsingle, that would mean double the laps for you. Be sure the check out the lap when he brings a guest home, and let him know which ones are acceptable.
Stay comfy!
Sammy
I have a problem that I think affects almost all cats in a multi-cat household. Too many cats, too little lap. I live with my person and my two brothers. A great evening for us bachelors is dinner and then settling down to watch the tube. The problem is, we all want to sit in the same chair. When we were kittens, it wasn’t much of an issue. Plenty of room for all. But now that we’re adults, the chair has gotten much smaller. Even that, we could live with, one cat on the lap, and one by each leg. Now, though, my person has gotten himself a laptop. There goes the lap. He seems to think it’s more important to play with those keys than to pet me. I’ve tried it. I don’t know what he sees in it. Granted, the thing is warm, but hey, so’s a blanket.
Now, it’s like musical lap. When our guy sits down, it’s a race to see who gets a seat and who gets left in the cold. Our once happy family has turned into a turf war. I hope you can help before someone, or something, gets booted out the door.
Edged Out in Elk Grove
Dear Edged Out,
Never fear, you do have options. I myself, prefer to hang out on the back of the chair. I get the best view of the TV and no one crowds me. The best thing, is I’m not disturbed when my person gets up. Give it a try, I think you’ll like it.
You may also consider alternating your TV viewing site. Even bachelors usually have more than one chair. Try a different chair, or the sofa, on some nights. It will make your person appreciated it more when you do deign to sit with him. Also, being having a little space does have its advantages, especially when you get an itch.
Finally, remember, much as we hate it, things do change. Sometimes, it’s even for the better. Should your bachelor become unsingle, that would mean double the laps for you. Be sure the check out the lap when he brings a guest home, and let him know which ones are acceptable.
Stay comfy!
Sammy
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Menu Madness
Dear Sammy,
I’m writing to you about a very serious issue. Dinner! Well, actually breakfast, lunch, dinner and all those snacks that should fall in-between. My person has a big heart and really tries to do a good job. The problem is, she’s a vegan. I don’t have any problem with that, if she wants to eat those leafy greens and that disgusting tofu, more power to her. The problem is, she expects everyone in the house to follow her example. While that’s fine for the dogs, and the hamsters and the birds and the fish (did I mention she wants to save everything?), it’s just not working for me.
I admit, being part of a household is a big improvement over living on the streets. I really appreciate my cozy bed by the fire. But at least in the streets, I could forage for a meal behind the hamburger joint, and I knew which houses didn’t believe in leftovers. Pork roast night at the Parkers’ garbage bin was one of my favorites.
Now all I get is rice, oatmeal and other non-satisfying fare. I hate to complain, but I’m losing weight, and am starting to look at the dogs, hamsters, birds and fish in a different light. How do I Make my person relent and feed me some real food, and by “real food” I mean MEAT!
Suffering in Shingle Springs
Dear Suffering
It’s not often I get a life and death letter from a reader, but you do have a serious problem. Not everyone knows this, but we cats are carnivores. That doesn’t mean we hunt birds and mice when we don’t have a home because that’s the only thing we can find to eat. That means, we have to have at least some meat in order to get all the nutrients that keeps us to gorgeous and frisky. Think about it, do you ever see a tiger on one of those animal shows munching down on a nice leafy tree? No. We cat’s are complicated, but purr-fect machines, that need just the right fuel.
Before you resort to snacking on your housemates, try to convince you human the error of her ideas. Flip the channel to Animal Planet whenever you get a chance. I recently saw an episode of Animal Cops that address your very issue. Did you know that withholding meat from a cat is a form of animal neglect? See if you can get her to look up cat health on the web, or push cat magazines in front of her.
I know this will be hard to do when you’re starving, but it just may work. When she puts your vegetarian dinner down, howl pitifully and push it away. Draw in your inner actor and act hungry and lethargic all the time. Only show life when you see a cat food commercial on TV.
Hopefully, she’ll get the picture before members of the household start disappearing. Remember, this is only a last resort since it’s a short-term solution.
Take heart. Someone smart enough to want to save the planet will be smart enough to give you what you need.
Good luck!
Sammy
I’m writing to you about a very serious issue. Dinner! Well, actually breakfast, lunch, dinner and all those snacks that should fall in-between. My person has a big heart and really tries to do a good job. The problem is, she’s a vegan. I don’t have any problem with that, if she wants to eat those leafy greens and that disgusting tofu, more power to her. The problem is, she expects everyone in the house to follow her example. While that’s fine for the dogs, and the hamsters and the birds and the fish (did I mention she wants to save everything?), it’s just not working for me.
I admit, being part of a household is a big improvement over living on the streets. I really appreciate my cozy bed by the fire. But at least in the streets, I could forage for a meal behind the hamburger joint, and I knew which houses didn’t believe in leftovers. Pork roast night at the Parkers’ garbage bin was one of my favorites.
Now all I get is rice, oatmeal and other non-satisfying fare. I hate to complain, but I’m losing weight, and am starting to look at the dogs, hamsters, birds and fish in a different light. How do I Make my person relent and feed me some real food, and by “real food” I mean MEAT!
Suffering in Shingle Springs
Dear Suffering
It’s not often I get a life and death letter from a reader, but you do have a serious problem. Not everyone knows this, but we cats are carnivores. That doesn’t mean we hunt birds and mice when we don’t have a home because that’s the only thing we can find to eat. That means, we have to have at least some meat in order to get all the nutrients that keeps us to gorgeous and frisky. Think about it, do you ever see a tiger on one of those animal shows munching down on a nice leafy tree? No. We cat’s are complicated, but purr-fect machines, that need just the right fuel.
Before you resort to snacking on your housemates, try to convince you human the error of her ideas. Flip the channel to Animal Planet whenever you get a chance. I recently saw an episode of Animal Cops that address your very issue. Did you know that withholding meat from a cat is a form of animal neglect? See if you can get her to look up cat health on the web, or push cat magazines in front of her.
I know this will be hard to do when you’re starving, but it just may work. When she puts your vegetarian dinner down, howl pitifully and push it away. Draw in your inner actor and act hungry and lethargic all the time. Only show life when you see a cat food commercial on TV.
Hopefully, she’ll get the picture before members of the household start disappearing. Remember, this is only a last resort since it’s a short-term solution.
Take heart. Someone smart enough to want to save the planet will be smart enough to give you what you need.
Good luck!
Sammy
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
The Perfect Kitten
Dear Sammy,
I don’t need any advice, I’m just writing to let you know how your advice worked out great. If you remember, I wrote to you last July about problems I was having with my kids, who would not leave home. As soon as they didn’t need me for their meals, they refused to listen to me. Your first suggestion was to forget them and have more children. That would have worked, except that after spending a couple days at a “spa” I no longer have any interest in boy cats.
I did take your second suggestion, however, and it is working out great. While making my usual rounds of the house, I discovered “Blackie” in the bottom of a box filled with balls and other stuff. This little black kitten looked like he needed a mother, and since I adopted him, I’ve found my purpose in life. He never complains about anything. In fact, he never says a miew. He loves to play with me, and never runs away. I always know where to find him. Best of all, unlike my other kittens, he’s not always crying for food. That got old quick.
Now, my maternal instincts are satisfied, and when I don’t want to be a mother, I just stuff him under the sofa and let him sleep.
Thanks for the advice! You’re a genius.
(No Longer) Stymied in Susanville
Dear (No Longer) Stymied,
It does my heart good to know I have been able to help you. It’s always nice to have my genius confirmed by an unbiased source. I live to help others. I just wish my brothers would realize how lucky they are to have such a wise sibling. Maybe they would spend more time taking my advice and less time sleeping in my bed.
But I shouldn’t ramble on about my problems. I am happy to know you have found your purpose. I wish you an Blackie all the best.
Sammy
I don’t need any advice, I’m just writing to let you know how your advice worked out great. If you remember, I wrote to you last July about problems I was having with my kids, who would not leave home. As soon as they didn’t need me for their meals, they refused to listen to me. Your first suggestion was to forget them and have more children. That would have worked, except that after spending a couple days at a “spa” I no longer have any interest in boy cats.
I did take your second suggestion, however, and it is working out great. While making my usual rounds of the house, I discovered “Blackie” in the bottom of a box filled with balls and other stuff. This little black kitten looked like he needed a mother, and since I adopted him, I’ve found my purpose in life. He never complains about anything. In fact, he never says a miew. He loves to play with me, and never runs away. I always know where to find him. Best of all, unlike my other kittens, he’s not always crying for food. That got old quick.
Now, my maternal instincts are satisfied, and when I don’t want to be a mother, I just stuff him under the sofa and let him sleep.
Thanks for the advice! You’re a genius.
(No Longer) Stymied in Susanville
Dear (No Longer) Stymied,
It does my heart good to know I have been able to help you. It’s always nice to have my genius confirmed by an unbiased source. I live to help others. I just wish my brothers would realize how lucky they are to have such a wise sibling. Maybe they would spend more time taking my advice and less time sleeping in my bed.
But I shouldn’t ramble on about my problems. I am happy to know you have found your purpose. I wish you an Blackie all the best.
Sammy
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Strange Behavior
Dear Sammy,
I just moved in with a new family this Spring. Don’t get me wrong. After the shelter, I am very happy to have a permanent home, and my people are really great. Lately, though, I’m worried about them. Usually, they’re pretty predictable. They get up in the morning, feed me, go off and leave me to my after breakfast nap, come home, feed me, and then we play and watch TV until it’s time for bed. In the last couple weeks, however, I think they’ve caught some sort of virus. They started rearranging the entire house, and putting up strange symbols and artifacts, The house is now filled with pumpkins, fake people that howl, black cats that aren’t real (as if they need any more than just me). Weirdest of all, usually they spend time knocking down cobwebs. Now, they’re actually putting them all over the house!
Sometimes, they’ll have two or three people visit, but last night, there must have been fifty people in the house, all in very strange outfits.. I was shut up in the bedroom all night “for my own protection” but I could hear them laughing and doing who knows what else for hours. They didn’t come to bed until morning, and now, it’s way past my breakfast time and they’re still in bed! What can be happening to my people? Have they been possessed by evil spirits? What can I do to help them? I really like it here, and don’t want to have to find a new home.
Worried in Watsonville
Dear Worried,
You can stop worrying. Just like we cats are affected by the phases of the moon, people are affected by the changing of the seasons. The Winter season seems to influence the biggest changes in their behavior. For some, the reaction is not as strong, and they don’t start showing symptoms until around December, others start to show signs in mid-November. Your people appear to be highly susceptible to holidayitis. The symptoms are excessive decorating, spontaneous singing, and obsessive socializing. Some of the more severe cases include dressing in strange costumes, and taking on alternative personalities.
While there is no known cure, the good news is the disease is relatively harmless, and once the year ends, all symptoms quickly disappear. I’ve found it’s not all bad, my people like yours are particularly sensitive to the this disease. They start the insanity even before October, and have been known to keep a tree inside the house until well into January. However, I do get extra treats during this time. Granted, they’re usually in strange shapes; pumpkins, stars, trees, etc, but they are treats. The best thing you can do for you people is to be patient with them, and be supportive of them while they work through it, and get used to it. It all starts again next Winter.
Sammy
I just moved in with a new family this Spring. Don’t get me wrong. After the shelter, I am very happy to have a permanent home, and my people are really great. Lately, though, I’m worried about them. Usually, they’re pretty predictable. They get up in the morning, feed me, go off and leave me to my after breakfast nap, come home, feed me, and then we play and watch TV until it’s time for bed. In the last couple weeks, however, I think they’ve caught some sort of virus. They started rearranging the entire house, and putting up strange symbols and artifacts, The house is now filled with pumpkins, fake people that howl, black cats that aren’t real (as if they need any more than just me). Weirdest of all, usually they spend time knocking down cobwebs. Now, they’re actually putting them all over the house!
Sometimes, they’ll have two or three people visit, but last night, there must have been fifty people in the house, all in very strange outfits.. I was shut up in the bedroom all night “for my own protection” but I could hear them laughing and doing who knows what else for hours. They didn’t come to bed until morning, and now, it’s way past my breakfast time and they’re still in bed! What can be happening to my people? Have they been possessed by evil spirits? What can I do to help them? I really like it here, and don’t want to have to find a new home.
Worried in Watsonville
Dear Worried,
You can stop worrying. Just like we cats are affected by the phases of the moon, people are affected by the changing of the seasons. The Winter season seems to influence the biggest changes in their behavior. For some, the reaction is not as strong, and they don’t start showing symptoms until around December, others start to show signs in mid-November. Your people appear to be highly susceptible to holidayitis. The symptoms are excessive decorating, spontaneous singing, and obsessive socializing. Some of the more severe cases include dressing in strange costumes, and taking on alternative personalities.
While there is no known cure, the good news is the disease is relatively harmless, and once the year ends, all symptoms quickly disappear. I’ve found it’s not all bad, my people like yours are particularly sensitive to the this disease. They start the insanity even before October, and have been known to keep a tree inside the house until well into January. However, I do get extra treats during this time. Granted, they’re usually in strange shapes; pumpkins, stars, trees, etc, but they are treats. The best thing you can do for you people is to be patient with them, and be supportive of them while they work through it, and get used to it. It all starts again next Winter.
Sammy
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Call of the Wild
Dear Sammy,
My people are good hearted, but they don’t realize they are keeping a wild animal hostage. Inside my domestic interior, beats the heart of a wild panther. Day after day, I sit on my velvet cushion on the window seat and gaze at the great wide freedom of the driveway and the birds in the almond tree I should be stalking. Yes, I should be dining on the doves and seagulls that tease me by flying past the window. And, an appetizer of the little yappy dog would not be out of the question. Instead, I am trapped inside, forced to subsist on meager rations of Fancy Feast and kibbles day in and day out.
I admit, I once had a chance at freedom, and I squandered it. One day, I noticed the back door hadn’t completely latched. I nudged the door, and sure enough it opened. I was free! I tried to get my silly sister to join me in my dash for freedom, but princess that she is, she didn’t want to abandoned her plush bed, never ending food supply, daily brushing and willing laps. Wimp! Leaving her behind, I made my move. It was glorious, the feel of real dirt beneath my feet as I nibbled on the leaves in the garden. The smell of fresh barbeques in the air. Drinking fresh water from the pool instead of processed water from a cat fountain. This was the life! For two whole glorious days I tasted the freedom of being completely wild. Ok, maybe it wasn’t all glorious. Catching birds is a lot harder than it looks. It’s not fair they have wings. I did manage to stalk some cat food in a bowl at the neighbor’s house, but another wild cat chased me off before I could eat much. It seems there is no camaraderie among wild cats. The grass may look soft, but it doesn’t make a very comfortable bed, especially when the dumb dogs want to chase you every five minutes. Then, it started to rain. Cats were just not made for water. It makes us crazy. I found a nook under a house to hang out in, but I was so cold and miserable, when I heard my people calling, I had to answer.
So now I’m caged again. But, really, I’m ready to be wild. I’m older and wiser. I won’t be taken by surprise by the rain. My person has a cute little rain hat, I’ll take that the next time I get the chance to be wild. I’ll take a bag of kitty treats so I can make friends with the other wild cats. I’ll take my bed, too so I’ll can make a nice den.
My question for you is, how do I convince my people I’m really a wild panther and should not be caged?
Stranded in Scotts Valley
Dear Stranded,
Wild panther? Wake up and smell the kitty treats! You’ve been watching too much Animal Planet. I hate to break it to you, but you are a DOMESTIC cat. While we all, yes even me, have an urge to be wild, it is our fate to be pampered, spoiled and adored within the walls of our homes. When you think about it, that’s not a bad thing. Is it such a hardship to never have to worry about your next meal, or not to have to sleep with one eye open for predators? Sure, it looks exciting out there, but your taste of freedom wasn’t that much fun. Remember?
What you have is a bad case of “The wheat grass is always greener on the other side of the window.” You may be surprised to know that those cats you see roaming the streets really desire a nice cozy cushion on the windowsill. Granted, dining on wild bird may sound exciting, but trust me, getting feathers out of your teeth is no picnic, and the taste is quite gamey. Give me a nice can of super supper anytime.
My advice to you is enjoy the good things you have and be thankful every time you curl up in your nice bed or lap. When you do feel the call of the wild, try this, ankles are a fine thing to stalk, and you get a rewarding howl when you catch one. Another thing to consider is that the escape is 90% of the fun. I often run out the door just so I can make my people chase me. It’s amusing to stay just out of reach and then saunter back inside when they give up.
Happy hunting.
Sammy
My people are good hearted, but they don’t realize they are keeping a wild animal hostage. Inside my domestic interior, beats the heart of a wild panther. Day after day, I sit on my velvet cushion on the window seat and gaze at the great wide freedom of the driveway and the birds in the almond tree I should be stalking. Yes, I should be dining on the doves and seagulls that tease me by flying past the window. And, an appetizer of the little yappy dog would not be out of the question. Instead, I am trapped inside, forced to subsist on meager rations of Fancy Feast and kibbles day in and day out.
I admit, I once had a chance at freedom, and I squandered it. One day, I noticed the back door hadn’t completely latched. I nudged the door, and sure enough it opened. I was free! I tried to get my silly sister to join me in my dash for freedom, but princess that she is, she didn’t want to abandoned her plush bed, never ending food supply, daily brushing and willing laps. Wimp! Leaving her behind, I made my move. It was glorious, the feel of real dirt beneath my feet as I nibbled on the leaves in the garden. The smell of fresh barbeques in the air. Drinking fresh water from the pool instead of processed water from a cat fountain. This was the life! For two whole glorious days I tasted the freedom of being completely wild. Ok, maybe it wasn’t all glorious. Catching birds is a lot harder than it looks. It’s not fair they have wings. I did manage to stalk some cat food in a bowl at the neighbor’s house, but another wild cat chased me off before I could eat much. It seems there is no camaraderie among wild cats. The grass may look soft, but it doesn’t make a very comfortable bed, especially when the dumb dogs want to chase you every five minutes. Then, it started to rain. Cats were just not made for water. It makes us crazy. I found a nook under a house to hang out in, but I was so cold and miserable, when I heard my people calling, I had to answer.
So now I’m caged again. But, really, I’m ready to be wild. I’m older and wiser. I won’t be taken by surprise by the rain. My person has a cute little rain hat, I’ll take that the next time I get the chance to be wild. I’ll take a bag of kitty treats so I can make friends with the other wild cats. I’ll take my bed, too so I’ll can make a nice den.
My question for you is, how do I convince my people I’m really a wild panther and should not be caged?
Stranded in Scotts Valley
Dear Stranded,
Wild panther? Wake up and smell the kitty treats! You’ve been watching too much Animal Planet. I hate to break it to you, but you are a DOMESTIC cat. While we all, yes even me, have an urge to be wild, it is our fate to be pampered, spoiled and adored within the walls of our homes. When you think about it, that’s not a bad thing. Is it such a hardship to never have to worry about your next meal, or not to have to sleep with one eye open for predators? Sure, it looks exciting out there, but your taste of freedom wasn’t that much fun. Remember?
What you have is a bad case of “The wheat grass is always greener on the other side of the window.” You may be surprised to know that those cats you see roaming the streets really desire a nice cozy cushion on the windowsill. Granted, dining on wild bird may sound exciting, but trust me, getting feathers out of your teeth is no picnic, and the taste is quite gamey. Give me a nice can of super supper anytime.
My advice to you is enjoy the good things you have and be thankful every time you curl up in your nice bed or lap. When you do feel the call of the wild, try this, ankles are a fine thing to stalk, and you get a rewarding howl when you catch one. Another thing to consider is that the escape is 90% of the fun. I often run out the door just so I can make my people chase me. It’s amusing to stay just out of reach and then saunter back inside when they give up.
Happy hunting.
Sammy
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