Designer Conflicts

Dear Sammy,

I am having a bad case of artistic differences, and it’s driving me nuts. I know my people work hard to provide for me, and so I try to do my part by taking over the interior design. The problem is, they just don’t seem to have any taste. Just listen to this. They have a truly hideous carpet in the living room. It’s glaringly white, just hurts the eyes to look at it. So, at great time and expense (of my lovely black fur) to me, I covered it with a nice soft piece of kitty art. Did they thank me? No! Instead they got out the noisy, sucking machine (which they know I hate) and removed the whole piece. All that work, gone in 60 seconds! That’s not all. When I improved their dining table by giving it a distressed look, very in right now, they totally failed to appreciated the added value. Instead, they actually scolded me! Then they bought a new, even uglier table. I don’t know what to do with these people. Except for their complete lack of good taste, they are great. I’m embarrassed whenever they have guests over because I know, even though their friends tell them they have a lovely home, what they’re thinking is “This place could look so much better with a cat’s touch.” What do you advise?

Tasteful in Turlock

Dear Tasteful,

Unfortunately, there is no easy solution to your problem. Some people are just born without the good taste gene, and no matter how much you try to educate them, they just won’t appreciate the finer things, such as kitty art. All is not lost, however. At least your people have good friends who will lie to them to make them feel good. And they have you, who are concerned enough to keep trying even though they don’t appreciate you.

Of course, I’m not advising you go give up on your design vision, just be a little more subtle. There have been instances where, after years of being exposed to art, people have stopped resisting, and first accepted it, then come to appreciate it. Doing the entire carpet may have been overwhelming to your people. They just could not take that much beauty in one viewing. Try leaving little bits of art around the house, in places that aren’t so obvious. A nice hair sculpture in a dark corner can go unnoticed for days, but still sends out subliminal good taste vibes. Do your claw art on pieces of furniture they don’t use often. By the time they really notice it, they will have grown to love it. Don’t give up.

Sammy