Hero Worship

Dear Sammy,

My person’s birthday is coming up and I am at a loss for what to get him. I don’t want to get something ordinary. I’ve already given him plenty of mice and birds. (For some reason, he likes to plant them in the garden. I guess he thinks they’ll grow.) He may not be the smartest person, but he is the greatest. I really want to get him something special, something that lets him know how much I and all cats appreciate him. He works hard every day, not just to provide a great home for me, but to make the world a safer place for all catkind. You see, he’s a dog catcher.

Proud in Placerville

Dear Proud,

You’ve got quite a dilemma on your hands. There really is nothing too good for a man of that noble profession. You are quite correct. Another mouse or pheasant simply would not be enough. He deserves the one thing I usually recommend against giving. Attention. Now for all you other readers, realize this is an extreme case, and not to be done with normal people. However, in this case, and even then, just because it’s his birthday, go ahead and give him some affection. If it’s his day off, you can start by waiting an extra half hour before you jump on him to let him know it’s time to feed the cat. Rub his legs and purr while he’s getting dressed, and you can sit on his lap while he’s watching TV. If he’s a really good dog catcher, you can even pay attention to the latest toy he bought you, if you can find it. I warn you though, never under any circumstances are you to bring him his slippers or paper. It will just confuse him, and the next time he goes to work, he might drop the net on the wrong species. Other than that, for one day a year, it’s ok to make him think he’s important to you.

Happy celebrating,

Sammy