Dear Sammy,
I don’t get people. Why do they think they are so much better than us? Better than dogs, I can see, but not cats. My person is generally pretty good. She has kitty beds all over the house, in case I need a quick nap. She keeps everything nice and clean, and she doesn’t have a dog. Her one annoying trait is she won’t let me sit at the table at dinner time. It’s not like there’s not enough space for me. She only takes one chair and there are three just going unused. Still, every time I try to join her, she shoos me away, sometimes not so gently. I don’t know how much more of this rejection I can take. It’s humiliating to eat my warm tuna and cream on the floor. Well, from a crystal dish, but the dish is on the floor.
Grounded in Galt
Dear Grounded
Don’t be too hard on your person. The truth is, people have some very strange eating habits. Because their faces are so flat, they have trouble eating properly straight from the plate and have to rely on some primitive implements to help them. These tools, aside from looking ridiculous, aren’t very efficient. It can sometimes take hours for people to get enough food to keep them going. When more than one person eats at the same time, it’s not uncommon to hear them laughing because they look so absurd when they eat. And that is the reason, your person won’t allow you to eat at the table with her. Imagine how embarrassed she would be to have you see her struggling so with her meal, or to have to watch you be so graceful and efficient. She feels she would lose all your respect. So, don’t feel slighted by her actions, realize she is only trying to maintain her dignity in the face of her handicap.
Good dining,
Sammy
Friday, March 12, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Delusional Doctor
Dear Sammy,
I have just had a very disturbing visit to the vet. Of course every visit is an unnecessary aggravation, but this one was the worst. Aside from the usual indignities, poking, prodding, pricking, he had to nerve to say I was overweight! Can you believe it? I’m just big boned. Not only does he say I have to cut down on my favorite hobbies, eating and sleeping, but he wants me to do the absurd, exercise and diet. He’s not very bright. Just how am I supposed to exercise when I’m too weak from lack of food to move? What can I do to convince my person that the vet’s a quack?
Flabbergasted in Folsom
Dear Flabbergasted,
You’d be surprised how often I get this complaint. If you ask me, and you did, how can habits that are so instinctive to cats, like eating and sleeping, be wrong? They are survival reactions. Think about it, no one can resist a sleeping cat. We are sooo cute when we’re dreaming. We can make a person sit for hours just by getting in his lap and pretending to sleep. And eating, well, you know what happens when we don’t eat. Aside from the obvious, it’s just polite to eat what we’re given, and to let our people know that we appreciate them.
That said. vets need to think they didn't go to vet school for nothing, and they can get annoying unless you throw them a bone, pardon the expression. Pretend you’re cutting back on your food, you can always augment regular meals with kitty treats, and you know how to get those, sleeping isn't the only thing in our cute arsenal. As for the exercise, make sure your owner has to work for it. For every calorie you burn, make her burn two. Don’t fall for any of those toys you can play with by yourself, make her roll the ball, or swing the feather, or even play a brisk game of tag. But, don’t budge unless she comes up with something fun to do. You may even have fun getting all the extra attention.
Take it easy,
Sammy
I have just had a very disturbing visit to the vet. Of course every visit is an unnecessary aggravation, but this one was the worst. Aside from the usual indignities, poking, prodding, pricking, he had to nerve to say I was overweight! Can you believe it? I’m just big boned. Not only does he say I have to cut down on my favorite hobbies, eating and sleeping, but he wants me to do the absurd, exercise and diet. He’s not very bright. Just how am I supposed to exercise when I’m too weak from lack of food to move? What can I do to convince my person that the vet’s a quack?
Flabbergasted in Folsom
Dear Flabbergasted,
You’d be surprised how often I get this complaint. If you ask me, and you did, how can habits that are so instinctive to cats, like eating and sleeping, be wrong? They are survival reactions. Think about it, no one can resist a sleeping cat. We are sooo cute when we’re dreaming. We can make a person sit for hours just by getting in his lap and pretending to sleep. And eating, well, you know what happens when we don’t eat. Aside from the obvious, it’s just polite to eat what we’re given, and to let our people know that we appreciate them.
That said. vets need to think they didn't go to vet school for nothing, and they can get annoying unless you throw them a bone, pardon the expression. Pretend you’re cutting back on your food, you can always augment regular meals with kitty treats, and you know how to get those, sleeping isn't the only thing in our cute arsenal. As for the exercise, make sure your owner has to work for it. For every calorie you burn, make her burn two. Don’t fall for any of those toys you can play with by yourself, make her roll the ball, or swing the feather, or even play a brisk game of tag. But, don’t budge unless she comes up with something fun to do. You may even have fun getting all the extra attention.
Take it easy,
Sammy
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