Dear Sammy,
I don’t need any advice, I’m just writing to let you know how your advice worked out great. If you remember, I wrote to you last July about problems I was having with my kids, who would not leave home. As soon as they didn’t need me for their meals, they refused to listen to me. Your first suggestion was to forget them and have more children. That would have worked, except that after spending a couple days at a “spa” I no longer have any interest in boy cats.
I did take your second suggestion, however, and it is working out great. While making my usual rounds of the house, I discovered “Blackie” in the bottom of a box filled with balls and other stuff. This little black kitten looked like he needed a mother, and since I adopted him, I’ve found my purpose in life. He never complains about anything. In fact, he never says a miew. He loves to play with me, and never runs away. I always know where to find him. Best of all, unlike my other kittens, he’s not always crying for food. That got old quick.
Now, my maternal instincts are satisfied, and when I don’t want to be a mother, I just stuff him under the sofa and let him sleep.
Thanks for the advice! You’re a genius.
(No Longer) Stymied in Susanville
Dear (No Longer) Stymied,
It does my heart good to know I have been able to help you. It’s always nice to have my genius confirmed by an unbiased source. I live to help others. I just wish my brothers would realize how lucky they are to have such a wise sibling. Maybe they would spend more time taking my advice and less time sleeping in my bed.
But I shouldn’t ramble on about my problems. I am happy to know you have found your purpose. I wish you an Blackie all the best.
Sammy
