Dear Sammy,
My people are good hearted, but they don’t realize they are keeping a wild animal hostage. Inside my domestic interior, beats the heart of a wild panther. Day after day, I sit on my velvet cushion on the window seat and gaze at the great wide freedom of the driveway and the birds in the almond tree I should be stalking. Yes, I should be dining on the doves and seagulls that tease me by flying past the window. And, an appetizer of the little yappy dog would not be out of the question. Instead, I am trapped inside, forced to subsist on meager rations of Fancy Feast and kibbles day in and day out.
I admit, I once had a chance at freedom, and I squandered it. One day, I noticed the back door hadn’t completely latched. I nudged the door, and sure enough it opened. I was free! I tried to get my silly sister to join me in my dash for freedom, but princess that she is, she didn’t want to abandoned her plush bed, never ending food supply, daily brushing and willing laps. Wimp! Leaving her behind, I made my move. It was glorious, the feel of real dirt beneath my feet as I nibbled on the leaves in the garden. The smell of fresh barbeques in the air. Drinking fresh water from the pool instead of processed water from a cat fountain. This was the life! For two whole glorious days I tasted the freedom of being completely wild. Ok, maybe it wasn’t all glorious. Catching birds is a lot harder than it looks. It’s not fair they have wings. I did manage to stalk some cat food in a bowl at the neighbor’s house, but another wild cat chased me off before I could eat much. It seems there is no camaraderie among wild cats. The grass may look soft, but it doesn’t make a very comfortable bed, especially when the dumb dogs want to chase you every five minutes. Then, it started to rain. Cats were just not made for water. It makes us crazy. I found a nook under a house to hang out in, but I was so cold and miserable, when I heard my people calling, I had to answer.
So now I’m caged again. But, really, I’m ready to be wild. I’m older and wiser. I won’t be taken by surprise by the rain. My person has a cute little rain hat, I’ll take that the next time I get the chance to be wild. I’ll take a bag of kitty treats so I can make friends with the other wild cats. I’ll take my bed, too so I’ll can make a nice den.
My question for you is, how do I convince my people I’m really a wild panther and should not be caged?
Stranded in Scotts Valley
Dear Stranded,
Wild panther? Wake up and smell the kitty treats! You’ve been watching too much Animal Planet. I hate to break it to you, but you are a DOMESTIC cat. While we all, yes even me, have an urge to be wild, it is our fate to be pampered, spoiled and adored within the walls of our homes. When you think about it, that’s not a bad thing. Is it such a hardship to never have to worry about your next meal, or not to have to sleep with one eye open for predators? Sure, it looks exciting out there, but your taste of freedom wasn’t that much fun. Remember?
What you have is a bad case of “The wheat grass is always greener on the other side of the window.” You may be surprised to know that those cats you see roaming the streets really desire a nice cozy cushion on the windowsill. Granted, dining on wild bird may sound exciting, but trust me, getting feathers out of your teeth is no picnic, and the taste is quite gamey. Give me a nice can of super supper anytime.
My advice to you is enjoy the good things you have and be thankful every time you curl up in your nice bed or lap. When you do feel the call of the wild, try this, ankles are a fine thing to stalk, and you get a rewarding howl when you catch one. Another thing to consider is that the escape is 90% of the fun. I often run out the door just so I can make my people chase me. It’s amusing to stay just out of reach and then saunter back inside when they give up.
Happy hunting.
Sammy
